How to be a Middling Karateka

Middling Karateka, Karate, Kobudo, Vancouver, Goju-ryu, Okinawa, Lessons, Martial Arts, Burnaby, New Westminster, Richmond, North Vancouver, Uechi-ryu, Shotokan, Shito-ryu, DojoYes, I’m a vain and arrogant person when it comes to Karate-do- I speak Japanese, I’ve translated books, I run a dojo (…well, I used to). Indeed, I’m the exact opposite of how budo is supposed to shape a person’s character. However, being a successful Karateka can be so very stressful. So I’ve decided to take up some of my valuable time to reveal some insider secrets. No, not about being a successful Karateka, but about how to be a middling Karateka. You know, someone mediocre at best. That’s what you want, don’t you? So without further delay, here are some key points to bear in mind when you practice. Follow these and I guarantee that you’ll muddle along just fine.

(1) Don’t get to class on time – Only motivated Karateka get to class on time or show up early for that matter. Who needs that extra time to review previous material or work on your weak points.

(2) Minimize your effort – When you’re feeling tired in class, don’t try to push yourself through practice. Instead, just tell you’re teacher that you’re tired, sleepy or injured and that you need to sit down and take a break. Don’t worry that you’re only five minutes into the class!

(3) Be oblivious – Make a concentrated effort to ignore everything that your sensei is trying to teach you and just do your own thing. Don’t worry because you know best. And don’t forget to be completely baffled at why you’re not making any progress.

(4) Don’t wash your dogi – Just crumple your dogi into a ball and throw it in your gym bag after class. This is what you do at home with your clothes anyway, so why should the dojo be any different. You can revel in your indifference to cleanliness, discipline and order.

So remember, when you’re wondering if you should go to practice tonight because you’ve ‘mastered’ everything your teacher has shown you or your Karate-do has to offer, then just grab a beer with another middling Karateka and pat each other on the back for a job well done!

 

And yes, this post is deliberately sarcastic to emphasize a point 🙂

Good luck in your training.